I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
nutella sex= disaster
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
