i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
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The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
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i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
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