fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
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