During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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