Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
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