my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
