I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I smell like Dick and happiness
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
