hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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