my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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