She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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