Nyc is like a mosaic of my failed dates.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Randomize
