I want to stick my p in your. b.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
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