This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
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After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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