Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
i love accidental penises.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
