I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
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