they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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