Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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