Say something about gay babies.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
