I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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