Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize