She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
Randomize
