i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
