Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
