dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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