Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Randomize
