in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
Randomize
