got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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