Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
Randomize
