im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
Well I just put wine in my tea
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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