I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
