@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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