i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
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