Apparently you make a good broom.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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