There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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