Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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