whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
