Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
