goodnight i made you a song goodbye
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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