The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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