I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
