we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
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