Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
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