I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
