i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
