He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
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