idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
