North Korea, Best Korea!
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
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