you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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