last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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