did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize