all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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