Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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